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Paranoid or Woman's intuition... Older woman, younger man relationship..??
I am in a relationship with a guy 10 years my junior, he was with his child's mother when we met... I just didn't know it... he told me after 5 months, saying that he was falling in love with me and wanted to be honest, end the relationship with the child's mother, and build a stronger relationship with me.... so after 8 months of things going so so, I am still thinking about the relationship he had with the child mother...I feel jealous, and I keep thinking that they are sneaking around, he has giving me no reason to think this, I just keep having these uneasy feelings, based on experience and being an older woman, because the child is still really young...he told me that he cant keep dealing with my suspicions... do you think I'm paranoid and insecure, or is this my woman's intuition kicking in trying to give me a warning..?? I am thinking about just ending the relationship to keep from going crazy, what has been your experience ?
Marriage & Divorce - 8 Answers - 2008-02-15 08:15:36

Best Answer
Its normal that you got be getting these jealous ides because he has a kid with this woman.he is yours and up until you catch dont run your relationship on hunches and playing pi.One thing you cant avoid though is he will meet with this other woman because they have a child together and its not necessarily that something sinister is going on.You need to loosen up and be confident because now you are showing a weakness that will kill maybe the best relationship you have ever had.Ask questions if you need to and stop being jealous

All Answers
Answer 1
what you are feeling is guilt becoz he lrft a woman with a child for you. you are seeing yourself as a homewrecker and to deal with the feelings of guilt you want to end the relationship.Dont! their relationship probably had problems way before you came. you juz accelerated their breakup. do u think if u left him, the other gal will take him back?probably not. give urself a chance n stop torturing him.
2008-02-15 08:22:20

Answer 2
Trust your intuition.God gave us something call sixth sense use it wisely. Don't over react just take it easy so when you make your decision you need to be mentally sane.
2008-02-15 08:25:09

Answer 3
i would say that you should not be upset until he proves you wrong cuz you should always give them the benefit of the douht first. just see how things go if ya really liike him.
2008-02-15 08:27:53

Answer 4
If he'll cheat on the mother of his child, he'll certainly cheat on you. EDIT: he spent the first 5 months of your relationship screwing (and cheating on) both you and her... so it's quite possible he's doing the same thing now.
2008-02-15 08:33:14

Answer 5
Its normal that you got be getting these jealous ides because he has a kid with this woman.he is yours and up until you catch dont run your relationship on hunches and playing pi.One thing you cant avoid though is he will meet with this other woman because they have a child together and its not necessarily that something sinister is going on.You need to loosen up and be confident because now you are showing a weakness that will kill maybe the best relationship you have ever had.Ask questions if you need to and stop being jealous
2008-02-15 08:33:14

Answer 6
first and formost, he is NOT gonna end that relationship unless he doesnt wanan see his child. he would have to be on some kind of good terms with the mother, which would require some kind of relationship: a friendly parental one hopefully. secondly, that is the mother of his child, they are forever linked. you cannot change that, and dont think for a second that you can. third, just like you have had other relationships (emotional or physical) so has he. only difference is he had a baby with one of them. if you wanna be with this man and hes telling you that he wants you and loves you and he sticking it out even with all the paranoia and suspicions, thats gotta count for something. but if u just cant stand it, sit down, all 3 of you, and discuss the boundries and rules and everything u need to, get it out in the open. otherwise, just leave becuz if u keep it up you wont have him any longer anyway. dad and baby are a package deal but mom and baby are a package deal for the dad too, relationship or not.
2008-02-15 08:38:38

Answer 7
Normally if your gut feelings tell you that he's seeing her, then maybe he might just be. It's hard trying to trust a man that has just left another woman and didn't tell you until 5 months later. But some advice for you if he hasn't showed you any signs of being a cheater, don't push it. But in your case he was with her first, then met you decided to leave her. That right there is a no-no. When a man leaves a woman to be with another, he'll do the same to you. So you see he started the relationship wrong in the beginning. Life is too short to be thinking negative all the time about whether or not your man is cheating. Trust me what's in the dark will definitely come to light. I know it's hard, but for your sake, sit back and be patient. Who knows he might just be sincere. Men!!!! Can't live with them, nor can we do without them. Dammit....LOL I'm older then my husband and I don't feel threatened at all. We have a wonderful relationship. When I start to feel insecure then maybe it'll be time to part. B/C I don't have time for that s***. All I want is to be happy, an live a good and healthy life. Yrs. ago when older women dated younger men, PPL had a lot to say. But men nowadays prefer an older mature woman. So it's nothing wrong with dating a younger man, you just have to make sure you have the right one. Hope I was able to enlightened you.
2008-02-15 08:42:02

Answer 8
You need a serious talk with this man to find out why he didnt tell you sooner he was involved with the other woman and why he didnt. You have every reason to feeel paranoid and suspicious...he intentionally or unintentionally was evasive over an extended period about his relationship with this woman you never really knew was in the picture. You need to sit down and map out a courtship within boundaries you can both live with and thrive on. Good luck. PS....this could be an indication of a lack of maturity on his part...time to talk about that as well.
2008-02-15 08:42:38